


30-35-30

by joisbishmyoga



Category: Meitantei Conan | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Gen, Hakuba is the nerdiest princess of all, dynamic practical mathematics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:26:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joisbishmyoga/pseuds/joisbishmyoga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Hakuba Saguru emulates Sir Francis Galton, and Kuroba Kaito catches him at it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30-35-30

**Author's Note:**

> From fanficrants comments: "Somehow, I'm reminded of the occasion on which Sir Francis Galton determined the measurements of a lady of his acquaintance by whipping out a sextant and taking sightings on her from a discreet distance."
> 
> ....
> 
> Sometimes the fic just writes itself.

The benefits of having a myopic gym coach were many and varied, and every single one of them related to how easy it was to slip the leash and skip class altogether. And -- with Kaito's habits of climbing random buildings, running laps around the classroom with Aoko's mop in hot pursuit, using exposed plumbing as monkey bars and balance beams, and of course his evening job -- it was just as easy to rationalize it away.

Although, being Kid, he was much too much of a gentleman to do so. Nope. Kuroba Kaito always told himself the truth, that it was just plain more interesting to do other stuff. Like set up pranks, or practice his lockpicking skills on the girls' locker rooms, or find new vantage points to watch their separate gym class from. Which was why today he was trying the "so obvious no one would ever use it" location of the school roof.

Which was why he had to hide his shock when he discovered the roof was occupied already.

"... Hakuba?" Kaito asked, slowly approaching the blond encamped in the best surveillance corner. It looked almost like a tiny picnic-for-one, Hakuba sitting on a plaid flannel sized suspiciously like a baby blanket, a bento and thermos to one side (lunch period was next), with a notepad on his lap and a pair of open textbooks propped up against the low retaining wall. He was fiddling with some sort of antique brass instrument, a quadrant or sextant or something, set on a tripod on the wall. "Whatcha doing?"

"Practical mathematics."

Huh. So he was, what, determining latitude the hard way or something? How did the thing work, anyway? And shouldn't it be pointing up at the sun? Kaito bent and peered through the sighting lenses. "... It's aimed at the girls' gym class."

" _Dynamic_ practical mathematics," Hakuba bit out.

Oooooookay. Whatever that meant. Maybe the equations would be more helpful... except they were rows of numbers, instead of a lot of variables or formulas. Rows of numbers in trios. In fact... "Those results look an awful lot like female measurements." Hakuba didn't react, unless you counted the slight increase in I-am-ignoring-you vibes. "In fact," Kaito added slowly, reaching out to tap a particular pair, "I'm pretty sure those two are Aoko's and Koizumi-kun's..."

"Go. Away. Kuroba-kun."

And now the blond was turning red. "Oh my god. They _are_." Hakuba was calculating the girls' measurements with some weird dorky old math device! "Hakuba, you pervert!"

"It's for improving my calculation rate!" Hakuba blurted. Then he paused. "... And how do you know their measurements anyway?"

"Costuming," Kaito lied with much more aplomb and panache and just plain brass-balled skill. "And you suck at lying. Calculation rate?" Could he get any less believeable? Well, yes, it was Hakuba and he still thought tartan was the height of fashion, but seriously, calculation rate?

"Shut up," Hakuba muttered. "It's not like Kid's out often enough to improve my physics abilities."

_.... Oh, the possibilities. Which way to twist that? Or... aha. Make him do it himself._ Kaito grinned. _Comprehension in five... four... three..._

Hakuba seemed to mentally stop short. "That's _not_ a suggestion."

Kaito grinned wider. _Wait for it..._

_Wait for it...._

"Nor did I mean it in any untoward fashion!" Hakuba added, paling. "Stop smirking at me like that!"

Definitely much more fun than gym class.


End file.
